Have you ever had a friend so close that you considered them your best friend? I did. Did you ever have a friend that you thought was your friend but really wasn’t? Yep. Right here. You see after we moved away from Nashville some of our friends became extinct. I know the drive to Murfreesboro sucks. But it’s home for us for at least the next 3 years. The best friend I had was in fact the best. I know I am probably the worst friend. Between Little Man playing soccer and Little O is a Girl Scout, Princess Z is in high school band, etc, etc. I’m busy. But I always made time to go to get togethers, kids birthday’s, whatever. You wanted us there we came. Then it just stopped.
I believe a lot has to do with how many kids I have. Seven. Seven kids. Yes, it’s a lot. But it’s not like I have 7 under 7. If you do, I salute you. I have babysitters that can watch little ones. It’s actually pretty cool. And I pay said babysitters for their time, especially if it’s on Friday or Saturday night. I remember my teenage years. But I also liked making money. Or maybe it has to with maybe they just don’t like me? Some days I don’t like myself either. Or they don’t like my kids? And that’s okay too. My kids are not perfect. Regardless, I realize I do need friends. I have my husband, thank God. He’s my best friend. My partner in life.
Nothing sucks worse than having to walk away from a friendship. I’ve had walk away from several. The first one was kinda easy. I thought she was a friend, but really wasn’t. She was cheating on her husband and using me to be her “back-up” story. If that makes any sense. She would tell me how abusive he was, how she was scared of him. Of course I was concerned. I told her it would be best if they probably separated. Then I suddenly didn’t hear from her anymore. Her husband is a good friend of ours. I found out the exact opposite was happening. She was abusing him. Wait, what?! Making threats if he left her she would make his life hell. Threatening to kill him if he left her. Crazy stuff. She went as far as hitting herself in the face with remote control to give herself a black eye, called the cops and said he did it. Yeah. All of this was recorded on video. This is how I know this. I was surprised, even shocked. Here all long I felt so bad for her. They are divorcing now. Lots of other things have come to light. But I’m like, how did I miss this? And who does this? Why go to such extremes to damage the one you supposedly love? I considered her my friend for so long. This is why people don’t believe the real victims of domestic violence. And people have trust issues. Needless to say, we are no longer friends.
My other close friend we just grew apart. Nothing happened that I’m aware of. She’s busy with her life. I am busy with mine. Now we just don’t talk. This kind of loss of friendship sucks. I would still do anything for her and her family. Maybe she decided a few months ago that she’s good, she didn’t need me? And I’m just now getting the memo. I just wish I had been a better friend.
As I get older it’s harder to make friends. Trust and honesty is a must. I’m an honest person, I own all of my faults. There are days I don’t want to talk to anyone. Then there are days I want to hang out with everyone. I’m not saying I don’t have any friends. I do. It’s a handful and I love them dearly. I’m just saying the close friendships I had for about 7 years are no longer around and it sucks. Cherish the friends you have. I know I do.
Thanks for reading a snapshot in my life.
Julia
Mom 7.0 